


Sally Ride

by sootnose



Series: Nordic Falls without the Falls [3]
Category: Gravity Falls, Over the Garden Wall (Cartoon)
Genre: Gen, Hulder!Wirt, M/M, Neck!Bill Cipher, older wirt, the ship's hinted at less than you might think
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-03
Updated: 2016-10-03
Packaged: 2018-08-19 09:06:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8199397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sootnose/pseuds/sootnose
Summary: Tall, dark and gorgeous, meet short, golden and ominous.





	

It was early morning on a weekend when Wirt's doorbell rang. Wirt only groaned and turned to bury his face in his pillow. Usually he was more of an early bird, but Bill had kept him up the night before and it came back to bite Bill in the ass.

Bill rolled off the bed onto the floor with a thud and shook his head before making his way to his feet. He yawned wide enough to pop his jaw and clothed himself with a snap of his fingers before unlocking the door.

Behind the door stood a tall woman, maybe in her early forties, wearing an old varsity jacket.

"Oh, hello? Is Wirt home?" she asked.

"Who are you? No wait, come in. I'll kick him up."

"I'm Sara. Wirt and I are old friends", the woman, Sara, smiled.

"Old, you say? How long have you known?" Bill probed as he walked deeper into the apartment while the human hanged her coat.

"Oh, some thirty years", Sara said lightly, and Bill smirked.

"Soooo you must know about the tree thing then?" he pushed.

"That Wirt's a Hulder? Yeah."

"Oh, good", Bill said, dispelling some of his human mask. "Not my favored look", he pre-emptively explained.

Sara glanced at him, then again, noting the yellow sclera and slit pupils.

"Oh... Oh! I never knew he had another Mythical friend! Except for his little brother."

Bill snickered. "Oh, you know, he gets on with humans like a house on fire. Me? I'm constantly bullied", he said, pressing his hand against his chest with feigned sadness.

"That doesn't sound like Wirt", Sara said, amused by the Neck's threatrics.

"Don't worry about it, I bully him just as much", Bill replied with a sideways glance and a mischievous grin. "Ta-ta!" He waved his hand and walked back into Wirt's room, flopping across the Hulder. Wirt groaned and mumbled something unintelligible.

"Wii-iiirt, there was a human at the door. Tall, dark and gorgeous, Biblical name. Sound familiar?"

Wirt mumbled, rubbed at his eyes and pushed himself up with his arm.

"Sara?"

"Right on the mark!"

This got movement into Wirt. He dressed quickly and headed out of the room sockless, still buttoning up his shirt.

"Sara!"

The woman had helped herself to Wirt's kitchen and made two cups of tea. She sipped hers when Wirt entered, but put it down and hurried over to hug Wirt.

"Heeyyy", she sing-songed. Wirt laughed as they swayed in a circle.

"You look good", Wirt said, barely having to look down to smile at the tall woman. "Love the braids."

Sara shook her hair pleasedly, then picked up the cups of tea and gave one to Wirt.

"I didn't know what you'd like", she said, looking past Wirt to Bill, "there's water in the electric kettle though."

Bill gave Sara a thumbs-up with a grin and made himself hot chocolate and joined the other two around the small table when ready.

“How’s work?” Wirt asked Sara as Bill pulled a chair and sat down. “Still forgetting gravity is a thing?”

Sara grinned and shook her head. “Only when I’ve just woken up.”

"I hope Bill didn't hassle you too much", Wirt said, casting the Neck an evaluating glance.

Bill waved a hand dismissively. "I just established that I don't need to pretend to be human since she isn't a", he twirled a finger in a tight circle searching for a word, "mundie."

Sara snorted a laugh at that, and even Wirt shook his head in amusement.

"So you're a shapeshifter?" Sara asked, her dark eyes shining with curiosity.

"Of a sort", Bill said with completely feigned modesty as he sipped his hot chocolate.

"Bill's a Neck", Wirt clarified, having no interest in keeping Sara in the dark about Bill's nature.

"You're no fun", Bill complained and pushed his half-full mug in front of Wirt. "You drink the rest."

Sara cocked an eyebrow at this, but didn't comment on it.

"So, what does being a Neck entail?" she asked instead as Wirt wrinkled his nose at Bill for making him drink his leftovers, _again_.

Bill leaned his elbows on the table and grinned at Sara. "Oh, you know..." he stalled. "Being super hot, giving humans better fortune at fishing if I'm in a good mood, playing a violin by the waterside, luring people to a watery demise... The usual."

His lips curled into a cheshire-cat grin at the 'please tell me he's joking' glance Sara cast Wirt. Wirt rubbed his neck awkwardly.

"We, uh, we made a deal with him. These", he said, lifting Bill's hand to show Sara the gemstone-inlaid gold cuff, "allow him to be out of water as much as he likes... But he couldn't get them on his own so we could convince him--"

"It's called blackmail, turtle", Bill cut in.

"--to not kill anyone", Wirt finished with a sigh.

**Author's Note:**

> For more information or to give me backpats, come talk to me on my tumblr [pineconerito](http://pineconerito.tumblr.com/)


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